arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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