I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
