um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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