Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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