i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize