My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
