i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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