4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
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He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize