nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
