OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Randomize
