i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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