I wanna passion pit in your ass
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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