The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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