If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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