Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
