then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
