Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize