did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
