she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
