After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize