Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry BigTex hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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(315): View more from New York

Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?

Fav 23 2828 1533
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(925): View more from California

You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(407): View more from Florida

at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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(905): View more from Ontario

I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair

Fav 0 753 482
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(480): View more from Arizona

I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.

Fav 0 37 33
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