Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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