Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
