He passed out mid-signature
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
