Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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