I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
