theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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