i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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