Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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