She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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