Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
