Pants 0. Shit 1.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
