Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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