Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.