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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

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• (904): View more from Florida

  watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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• (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (607): View more from New York

  you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Im part way to drunk.

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