Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out. http://tfl.nu/085c
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (2355)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me. http://tfl.nu/ujwu
  Replies (21) Good night (3121) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does? http://tfl.nu/dymy
  Replies (46) Good night (719) Bad night (6043)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship. http://tfl.nu/de5k
  Replies (22) Good night (7035) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night. http://tfl.nu/medf
  Replies (13) Good night (4386) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs. http://tfl.nu/3fsr
  Replies (19) Good night (5362) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1899) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating. http://tfl.nu/al19
  Replies (10) Good night (2218) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer http://tfl.nu/egws
  Replies (5) Good night (1000) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1471) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything? (1-708): Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference. http://tfl.nu/anav
  Replies (14) Good night (1366) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say http://tfl.nu/bgnm
  Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now? http://tfl.nu/w7no
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex http://tfl.nu/zcn5
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high. http://tfl.nu/gz43
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (219)

Randomize