I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.