Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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