Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/