Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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