Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.

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(405): I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm. http://tfl.nu/yhbb

Replies (58) Good night (3141) Bad night (575)
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(305): View more from Florida

After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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(305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/111s

Replies (31) Good night (3930) Bad night (1536)
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(251): View more from Alabama

And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.

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(251): And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day. http://tfl.nu/qr88

Replies (9) Good night (2772) Bad night (764)
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(248): View more from Michigan

He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.

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(248): He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history. http://tfl.nu/5nwi

Replies (4) Good night (2733) Bad night (884)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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(541): Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding http://tfl.nu/9api

Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (1449)
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(434): View more from Virginia

A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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(434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!! http://tfl.nu/y0d6

Replies (4) Good night (2329) Bad night (867)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.

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(402): I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham. http://tfl.nu/kvkl

Replies (3) Good night (1487) Bad night (692)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

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(270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3

Replies (17) Good night (1194) Bad night (717)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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(615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra

Replies (5) Good night (2129) Bad night (675)
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(323): View more from California

Put some vodka in it

(424): View more from California

Its 7am

(323): View more from California

put some vodka in it

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(323): Put some vodka in it (424): Its 7am (323): put some vodka in it http://tfl.nu/mu2b

Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (453)
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(210): View more from Texas

How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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(210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k

Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (302)
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(406): View more from Montana

Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

(1-406): View more from Montana

Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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(406): Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced (1-406): Way to crack the case Nancy Drew http://tfl.nu/rhym

Replies (5) Good night (670) Bad night (448)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.

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(740): Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober. http://tfl.nu/5nza

Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (635)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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(603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2

Replies (4) Good night (389) Bad night (743)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.

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(434): I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane. http://tfl.nu/d551

Replies (0) Good night (121) Bad night (66)

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