Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"

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  (780): she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!" http://tfl.nu/mre5
  Replies (13) Good night (4755) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight

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  (847): I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight http://tfl.nu/h3vp
  Replies (10) Good night (3978) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6423) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (7175) Bad night (1626)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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  (402): You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes. http://tfl.nu/0q3l
  Replies (18) Good night (6893) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars

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  (925): if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars http://tfl.nu/yl19
  Replies (16) Good night (5253) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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  (443): you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/4avg
  Replies (9) Good night (2233) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.

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  (408): I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party. http://tfl.nu/m1aw
  Replies (6) Good night (2906) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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  (484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c
  Replies (16) Good night (981) Bad night (2877)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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  (509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3
  Replies (11) Good night (932) Bad night (3638)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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  (440): Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis. http://tfl.nu/jmye
  Replies (7) Good night (1879) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

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  (585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659
  Replies (6) Good night (1324) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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  (505): Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle. http://tfl.nu/hoqs
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1308) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?

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  (701): I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/w4ss
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (291)

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