you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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