I love black thongs
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
