who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
