So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
