Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
