guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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