I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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