That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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