I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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