I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
