Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
