You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
