Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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