The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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