I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize