Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
