Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
