if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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