I'm gonna have a badass scar
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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