Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
