You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
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WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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