its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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