we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
