PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
