nut hugger
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you never un-have a 4some
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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