I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
